i feel as if i have no purpose any more. no reason to live. not even a reason to die. i just exist for now, taking up space where someone more useful could be. im such a waste of a life
will you be proud of me even after what i have done? does it matter? i’m sorry i have failed you. i’m a fuck up what can i say. the one you love is dieing. but its ok. maybe you will love the new me…
what i got rid of is slowly coming back to me. you who i hated and despised is who i missed so much. the feeling of being alone which scared me now keeps me warm. how much longer before no one is needed again?
deception - act a certain way so no one can get a reading on you. if your happy fake your sorrows if your miserable fake your happiness. you will alwayse win if no one can ready the real you
can you recreate what you have lost. to make your self who you were once again. as hated as you become will this make you happy. lets bring back all the things that made you you again. do it no matter how many you must sacrifice.
its called deception and self loathing. you will never be good enough, there is too much to fix and your such a FUCK UP you will never get it right…..
its called self desire. but as i want it i realize im not good enough either. i still needa work on myself to make myself better cause your no good yet jarret